Sunday, July 4, 2010

Why I Was Stuck In Traffic for 3 Hours: blogpost July 4th, 2010

I4 turned into a parking lot yesterday as I was trying to come home from Orlando.

Turns out it was a pissed-off boyfriend, who shot his ex in the back outside a Mexican market, then forced her into his brand new Honda ("don't get any blood on the seat OK?") and then led all the police in central Florida (at least all those who weren't home setting up their barbecues for the July 4th parties) on this madcap chase toward Plant City.

These cracker cops sure do love the opportunity to chase down a Mexican on I4. Anyway it ended for the boyfriend when he pulled over and shot himself in the head with a shotgun (I guess he didn't want to kill the ex, because he didn't use the big gun on her). But the rest of us were in one of those holiday weekend, mommy I want to go (after a day at Disney), is that a motherf'in helicopter?, I can't believe this is happening to me, traffic jams.

I don't want to seem unsympathetic, but you can get your jilted dead-ass on TV without making me (and a thousand other innocent people) sit in our over-heating (not-so-late-model) cars for hours.

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